One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, our lives changed forever.

That day, I decided to take a pregnancy test... just in case.

I'm sure that by now, you've figured out how that turned out for us.

I hope that I'll never, ever forget the emotions that I felt the moment that little stick changed. I was without my husband and I had to keep the knowledge of the pregnancy to myself for a few days. Hardest thing I have ever done, hands down. Even when I got home and was able to tell him, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be a mom. It was extremely weird seeing as though I've pretty much wanted to be a mom since I was a baby myself. I just couldn't fathom the fact that in 9 short months, I would be someone's mother.

I had a lot of fears about being a mom, but that's pretty in line with my personality. I worry a LOT. One of my greatest fears was that I wouldn't be able to love my child fully. I knew I would love my child, but would I really love him? I would talk to my mom all the time about that and she would tell me, "Just wait. You'll see."

Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. The second I saw this boy, he had my heart. I was with some of my best girlfriends yesterday, and after going up to check on Griffin during his nap, I told them that never have I loved something so much that it physically hurts sometimes.

This little boy and his daddy are the best two things that have ever happened to me. I'm so thankful that God gave me them. Tyler and I could have never dreamed of all the last year has brought us. A lot has changed in 365 days. I seriously can't picture what our life was like pre-Griffin and I like it that way.

He has brought so much joy and love into our home. There are times where I look at him and get teary because I am so thankful to God that He gave us this sweet boy to raise. It's a huge responsibility, but I'm thankful that Tyler and I are in this together. Being a mom has been the hardest thing I've ever done thus far, but it's just like everything else-- it has its good days and bad days. The good days and moments far outweigh the bad ones. I'll do just about anything to get this guy to laugh and smile because it absolutely melts my heart every SINGLE time!

A year ago today, we got the amazing news that we were getting a little addition to our family. Griffin, I'm so glad it was you!

Griffin :: 3 Months

Griffin, you are three months old!

June 6, 2011

What were you up to this month?

--You are still in 0-3 month clothing. You are very long, but very skinny. You could probably do 3-6 month clothing for length, but you would swim in those clothes! We have lots of 0-3 month onesies. You will live in those this summer when we are hanging around the house.

--You are wearing Pampers Swaddlers size 1 and Huggies size 1-2.

--We were at Grammy and Papa's earlier this month for a week and during that week, you started smiling up a storm. Since then, it's very easy for Mommy and Daddy to get you to smile. You are super smiley after you eat and when you just wake up. You also have begun to coo like nobodys business. You smile and coo when people talk to you. You just love it when people pay attention to you!

--You sleep through the night without any problem. We can usually count on anywhere from 7-9 hours straight. It has been such a blessing. You are not a great napper. You nap very well for your Grammy but not for me!

--I went back to work for three weeks. Your Grammy and Grandma both came for a visit and to take care of you. They loved it and so did you! You came to work with me for my last day (with staff) on Monday and oh boy, did everyone just LOVE YOU. Your "aunties" couldn't keep their hands off you and we got so many offers for babysitters.

--You went through a phase of not liking your paci, but you have fallen back in love with it. You still love your monkey Wubbie. He is getting a little worn. I have a feeling he is going to be your "lovey" so I may pick up a few more to keep on hand in case we ever lose him.

--You have also discovered your hands and feet this month! You love to sit in your swing, raise one leg straight in the air and just stare at it. You kick your legs ALL the time and you love to "stand". You also chew on your hands a lot and have taken a liking to sucking on your left pointer finger.

--You still love to nurse and you continue to be a nursing AND bottle champ. This makes it easy for me to go out and do a few things without you, like my Thursday night Bible study. You still scream bloody murder when I burp you during a feeding and arch your back so I can't sit you up and burp you. You throw your head back and throw quite the tantrum!

--Each night, before bed, I read you Night-Night, Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton. You just love it! You smile and coo the whole time and it just melts my heart. You love it when I read to you-- a boy after your momma's own heart. You also love just sitting quietly with your daddy. The other day, he was out of town and while feeding you, I watched a video he had made of you on the iPad. When his voice came on the video, your eyes flew open and you kept looking from side to side to try and find him. It was so precious!

--Your hair has gotten longer and curlier on top. You have a natural mohawk that people comment on all the time! I love your hair so much. People also comment often on how big your eyes are.

--I will post your 3 month stats when we go to the doctor next week. According to our baby scale, you are just over 12 pounds. You are a shrimp!

--You are a beautiful and perfect boy. Your daddy and I love you so very much!

Happy three month birthday, baby boy! We love you!