I was out of school and decided to go up north with my parents for a few days. Now, for all you non-Michiganders, "up north" is kind of a general term for anywhere in northern Michigan. We have dear family friends who have a house on a lake in northern Michigan and they had invited our family to come up for a few days. Tyler couldn't go because of work, but since I was on summer break, I went with my mom and dad. Mike and Suzy own the house and their daughter, Jesse, who is one of my dearest friends, was also home from Colorado. It was seriously the best time; just us daughters on a getaway with our parents. We all get along super well and laugh a lot. Some of my favorite summer memories are at their house up north.
When I was packing to go to Michigan, I randomly threw some pregnancy tests into my bag. I knew that being pregnant was a possibility, but I honestly did not think it was going to happen for us for a long time. But I also knew I wasn't going to ask anyone to take me to WalMart to buy pregnancy tests while we were there. I am so glad I took some.
If my memory serves me correctly, we left my parents house to go up north on Sunday, June 27. We had a great few days, but on Tuesday, June 29, I realized I was supposed to start my period. If womanly things make you uncomfortable, stop reading. One of my spiritual gifts is the gift of TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Anyway, I am extremely regular and all day, I waited and waited. Nothing. We went out to dinner that night, and before we went, I thought, "Eh, what the heck, I might as well pee on one of my sticks." I went inside to shower and get ready, and to... well... pee.
Well. WELL.
That second line? Showed up immediately. There was no waiting period. It just popped right out and said hello. And me? I about lost my lunch.
I don't know why, but I really had it in my head that we would not get pregnant for a very, very long time.
WRONG.
I remember hiding the test and the evidence and getting in the shower and repeating to myself over and over again, "I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant? Hello, baby! I'm PREGNANT." I also knew I needed to calm myself down because there were five people in the house that knew me WELL and that they would figure out that something was going on if I was acting like a crazy person. I also knew that the first person who I wanted to know was Tyler. I did NOT want to tell him on the phone, so my conclusion was this-- I had to keep this a big secret.
We went to dinner at an Italian restaurant and on the way there, I took this picture with my cell phone. I think I look happy but a little scared, which is exactly how I was feeling.
The next morning, I decided to take one more pregnancy test just to check and sure enough, that second line didn't waste any time. I honestly think this is when I went into shock mode. I knew that I couldn't tell my parents and that was awful. I had to act perfectly normal for another 48 hours when I was feeling anything but normal.
That morning, my mom, Suzy, Jesse, and I took the dogs on a walk. I forgot to mention that I had a sinus infection, and when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was going to have to be careful not to take certain over-the-counter medications. I told them that I needed to call my doctor to ask about getting an appointment when I went back to Cincinnati for my sinus infection, but obviously, I didn't tell them anything else. I walked really far behind them and whispered the whole time. The secretaries at the doctor's offices probably thought I was insane. First, I called my OB's office and told them that I'd had two positive tests and what the HECK should I do now? She did some quick calculations and told me that I would come in when I was 8 weeks pregnant. UM, NO. Well, actually, I didn't have a say in that, so she made me an appointment and I called my family doctor next. I told them that I thought I was pregnant but that I was in some serious pain due to my sinuses. They told me what I could take (basically nothing) and I made an appointment for when I got back to Cincinnati.
I think we headed back to my parent's house that night (June 30) and then the next day, I headed back to Cincinnati. Let me just tell you-- knowing that I was pregnant and not telling my parents? Hardest thing ever. Talking to my husband on the phone multiple times per day and not telling him? EVEN WORSE. I have never been so eager to get back to Ohio! I drove back and went straight to my family doctor's office. When I got back to my exam room, I told them that I thought I was pregnant and asked if they could do an official pregnancy test. They did one and then I had to wait by myself in that room to hear what they said. When the nurse came back in, she asked me what the home pregnancy tests had said. I told her they were positive and she looked at me, smiled, and said, "Congratulations, you are definitely pregnant!" I straight up burst into tears. I think it was the combination of feeling like crap due to my sinus infection and holding in that big secret for so many days. She was so sweet to me and listened to me blubber and told me that everything would be okay. Bless her heart, I don't even remember her name, but she was great.
When I left the doctor's office, I went to Target and bought a little onesie that says, "I Love my Dad". I also bought a gift bag and some tissue and wrapped it up in the car. I knew Tyler would be home from work shortly after I arrived home, so I had it waiting for him. When he came in, I told him I had gotten him a little something up north. I have asked him several times since then if he knew what he was opening. He says he had no idea, but I'm still a little skeptical. He pulled out the onesie, got this huge smile on his face, and just said, "Wow. Really!?" I then burst into tears again, not because he said it in a mean way, but just because I was freaked and so relieved that he finally knew. It was a loooong few days.
I really wanted to tell my parents in person, especially since I knew we were going back up to Michigan a little over a week later, but that just didn't happen. I think my mom figured it out on her own. Actually, I know she did. We ended up telling our parents and our brothers over the phone, but that's what happens when you live far away. It sucks. Sorry, but it does. Of course, I am now crying about that, but that's only because I am 34 weeks pregnant and highly emotional. STILL.
About a week later, I experienced some awful cramping which caused me to have several early appointments with my doctor as well as several ultrasounds. That first ultrasound was both painful and amazing. We got to see the tiny little piece of rice that was our baby and even see his itty bitty heartbeat. It was absolutely incredible. However, we were told that from the ultrasound pictures and my blood work, there was a chance I was miscarrying the baby and that I would have to have a follow up ultrasound when we returned from a little vacation we had planned. All in all, it was about 4-5 days that we had to wait and let me tell you-- it was rough. I went through every emotion in the book and also started in on the morning sickness during that time. It was really hard, but Tyler was amazing through the whole thing. Our marriage has really changed and grown during this pregnancy and it has been such a sweet time for us. I love that guy that I married. Good thing, huh?
We had the follow up ultrasound and my mom actually came down to be with us in case we got hard news. I cannot tell you the relief of seeing my healthy little baby on the screen with a flashing heartbeat. I also love that my mom got to experience it with us. And here I go, crying again. There is nothing like hearing that you have a healthy baby. We got the pictures of our little guy and I looked at them everyday for months. Oh, I forgot to say that I knew this baby was a boy. I just knew the moment I found out I was pregnant. There was never one doubt in my mind for whatever reason. Go figure!
So there you have it! It's crazy reading through this and remembering that time of our lives. I thought that the next 9 months would creep by and in some ways, they have but in other ways, they have flown. Most of all, it has just been a wonderfully fun and crazy time. I can't wait to meet this fellow; he sure is worth it!
